Yes Can be as Terrifying as No

While rejection is a bad experience and most people would avoid it when possible, acceptance is not always sunshine and daisies too. Acceptance can be just as terrifying as rejection, sometimes maybe even more so. I don’t know if you’ve ever experience it before, but I have. After some thoughts, I realized that there are a lot of times when I was told no and I was relieved about it.

So why does this happen? I think it comes from a deep sense of security that I find in my comfort zone. I like doing things alone. I play single player games. I read alone. I binge watch sitcoms alone. I have control over my time and I can choose to stop whenever I want and go do something else. Don’t get me wrong, I do set aside time to spend with my friends. Interacting with others is important too. No man is an island, after all. But I like having control over most of my time. I like to plan things out, sometimes one or two month in advance and that’s difficult to stick to if I don’t have control over most of my time. Something I’ll have to relinquish when I join the workforce one day. Not a day I’m excited about.

Wait, how does that relate to the title, you ask? Well, yes can be terrifying because it can threaten to break the status quo. Your life could be change drastically, sometimes, when yes is said. It will vary from people to people, some people like the challenge and get bored when they get stuck in a routine, but I’m very much the opposite. So whether it be working freelance or asking someone out or even getting a book published, having a yes in those situation can be terrifying, because it can possibly turn your life around. That thing you plan to do one or two months ago might have to be postponed or canceled because of that yes. Maybe it’s just me thinking too far ahead, which I’m known to do sometimes.

Look, I’m not saying that yes is guaranteed to flip your life around, it’s totally possible that your status quo is kept too, but the thought of that flip is what makes it terrifying. Not knowing how the future will be like is scary. Okay, maybe saying that the yes is terrifying is a bit of an exaggeration. Maybe it’s more of an apprehensive feeling, but the point still stands. Sometimes getting that no is like that feeling you get when some plan of yours fail through at the last minute and you suddenly have a lot of free time on your hands.

At the end of the day though, it can become an obstacle to success. Being too into your comfort zone is not a good thing. It keeps you bound to one place and stagnate. While I think I’ll never be able to entirely get rid of that apprehension towards the yes, I think I can start to anticipate it and learn to live with it.


10 thoughts on “Yes Can be as Terrifying as No

  1. Oh my god, yes, I totally get this! I think sometimes I find yes more terrifying than no. I have anxiety and the thought of actually /not/ having it and being able to interact and live my life the way I should is actually so scary because I’m so used to how I am now. I find it so hard to step out of my comfort zone. It is something I know I need to change though and I’m slowly working on it by setting small goals for myself each day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, not everyone experiences this. It’s mostly people like me who are so rooted to their comfort zone that they are uncomfortable at the thought of losing it. But I’m glad that you can understand it.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Nope, still working on it. Had a freelance gig that didn’t pan out due to skill gap. I need to sort myself out first before I can start thinking about asking someone out. As for publishing a book, it’s a long term goal I’m working towards!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Eep. Now I feel like a priest AND a therapist, lol. Well, all this shall come to pass. No, not me being a therapriest! Oh, just stay tuned and focused – life has a way of floating cool stuff one’s way.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So, so true. This is why it can take me ages to reply to emails. A yes also creates expectations from the other and that scares me I guess. I tend to overthink that bit. I think I’ve gotten better at it throughout the years, but it is still there.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I take ages to reply to email too. Sometimes I don’t even check them because it’ll be eating at me the whole day. I’m actively trying to improve, so I hope I’ll be able to handle it soon.

      Liked by 1 person

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