What is Maturity?

This past two years, I’ve started to see an alarming number of former classmates getting married. Some even have a kid or two. Most are just acquaintances and a few are old friends that I’ve long since lost contact with. In other words, I wasn’t invited to their weddings, so I didn’t really noticed it. But a few of my closer friends are planning to tie the knots sometime soon. And it makes me wonder, what the hell am I doing with my life?

Other friends are working overseas, earning big money and taking yearly vacations to who knows where. Others have taken out loans to buy new imported cars and invest in houses. And what am I doing? I’m still studying.

And no, I’m not saying I want to get married or have a kid, or even buy a car or own a house, but it does make me wonder where I am in life. Okay, I’m lying if it doesn’t bother me, but it’s not the point of this post. No, what I want to say is that these people my age are doing “adult” stuff and I feel like I’m still stuck in kiddy fantasy land.

While people my age are discussing the best way to earn money, what funds to invest in or what stocks to buy, I’m looking at when Persona 5 is coming out and following the checking new sites to see if any new info has dropped. While they are talking about dowry, or politics, or about possibly migrating, I find myself checking the progress bar on Brandon Sanderson’s website and wondering when the percentage for Stormlight 3 is going to increase.

I mean, it’s not like I don’t think about those kind of stuff, I just feel ill equipped to handle them. Like I’m not an adult yet. I wonder if I’ll still feel the same way when I start working. I know people always say fake it till you make it, or you won’t know until you try but it still scares me a little. I feel like I still have a lot of “growing up” to do.

So what is maturity anyway? Wikipedia says maturity is the ability to react to environments in an appropriate manner. And “appropriate” links to social norms. It also says that maturity is something that is learned rather than something that is instinctive. Boy, I hope I learn it and I learn it soon, because right now, I’m feeling like a lamb being prepped to be thrown into a den of lions.

Personally, I think that maturity has two main facets. The first is to be responsible. And the second is to realize that some dreams can only be dreams. The first one is probably easier for me, not that it is easy per se. I just need to step in and start steering the ship instead of following the flow of the river.

The second? The second is hard. But I know some of what I want is unachievable, simply because I won’t have enough time to do everything I want. This is just going to be worst when I start working 9-5. Unless I somehow struck gold, I’ll have to let some things go eventually. (Sidenote, I’ve recently got a spam mail that said I won a 800k lottery. Boy, if only that was real.) Thus far, I think I’ll still be able to keep on writing and blogging. Who knows what will happen next year?

*Sigh*

Thanks for reading this little rant of mine. So what about you? Do you think you are mature? What does maturity mean to you?

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9 thoughts on “What is Maturity?

  1. Personally, I think there’s something to be said for not worrying, or maybe having to worry, about too much “adult” stuff. You’ll have the rest of your life to work 9-5 (actually, that’s a dream for many of us still looking for jobs…), but I would just enjoy your time studying and the flexibility you have with your life now. 🙂

    Anyway, I’ve heard a lot of people say having kids is what really forces you to grow up. I wouldn’t know personally.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Knowing that I will be losing that flexibility is making me super appreciative of it right now. I’m definitely going to enjoy every moment of it.
      I’ve heard that too. But it kinda sounds a little irresponsible bringing a new life into this world without being “grown up”. 😂

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  2. For me, maturity is more of a mindset than a physical state of being. It’s understanding that life is both made up of priorities and completely chaotic. There’s not a day that goes by that I wish, for instance, that I had more time to game. At the same time, I know that there are things that I have to do — work, pay the mortgage, be a reasonable adult — in order for me to be able to make time to game. I know that gaming isn’t a priority anymore; it can’t be for me, and I’ve made my peace with that. (And that’s why I deeply cherish the hours that I do get to play!) Being mature means both guiding and coming to terms with your life in whatever manner it happens, and despite however anyone else judges it. It’s your life to live, not anyone else’s.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I agree that maturity is a mindset. Gaming is certainly a time consuming hobby. I have a feeling that I’ll be super stingy with my time. Even now I’m starting to play more short eight hour games instead of massive forty hour RPGs, even though I love the latter. I just can’t justify spending time on grinding anymore. I’ve also seen many of my gamer friends stop gaming because they simply couldn’t find the time to do it anymore. I hope when the time comes, I’ll be able to make the right choices and more importantly be at peace with that decision.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Jamie – you raise a lot of interesting questions! And I’m not sure what the answers are, if any.

    What I will say is that it can cut the other way – there’s no greater immaturity or irresponsibility than getting married, having kids, or setting out on a career path when you don’t actually want those specific things, but you’re doing them because it’s “expected” (that is – time to “grow up”).

    It sounds like you’re on your own path, studying (what is it that you’re looking to do, if you don’t mind me asking?) and working towards your own goals. And that’s all good stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s definitely a great advice! I always imagined a future with a family, but it always felt like something in the future. I thought it would change as I got older, but it still hasn’t. Maybe I’m just not cut out for it.
      I’m current doing a master’s degree in IT. Part of the reason I took it was because I didn’t want to work yet. It also provided me some flexibility to pursue writing which I’m absolutely loving. I hope I’ll be able to continue writing!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I absolutely LOVE this post, and thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this. I have to say, I don’t feel that old, and I feel like everyone has everything figured out -but maybe this is what social media makes us think?! I’m sometimes feeling like everyone has everything figured out while I’m stuck there, just out of studies and completely lost about what’s next. It’s such an annoying feeling.I don’t want to give up on my dreams yet either, or be responsible and everything… life is so, so hard and I just do not know.
    Great post! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks! Good point about social media. When you see the photos of friends starting their families, traveling, buying new cars/houses, it really does exacerbate the problem. They all seem to be doing the “adult” thing and I’m still just a kid. Haha. Life really is super hard but I guess it just makes it all the more precious?

      Like

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